Hello, Boys....

....I'm Daphne, and I'm the Star of this Show.....

For those of you who aren't Serious Landrover Geeks, it's OK for you to skip the rest of this post, as we're going to get really into my insides, if you know what I mean.

Tick....tick.....tick.....tick

OK, don't say I didn't warn you!
I was born in Solihull in December 1998 and was a special baby, made for Aberdeen City Council. They had me painted a unique shade of lemon yellow, which has caused my present owner some trouble in getting a match for giving me a bit of touching up.
As I grew up I was taken to the seaside a lot since ACC used me as a support vehicle for their outdoor activities - Mike thinks I was used to tow a dinghy trailer. Since I'd spent a lot of time with my backside in salt water my rear crossmember rotted off and had to be replaced at some point. This is his guesswork though as the only paperwork - other than my V5 Birth Certificate - that I have from those years is a scribbled note in my handbook that says I might have had an oil change sometimes. I arrived at my new home in 2010 with 83000 miles on my clock which means I was practically a toddler by Landrover standards. I looked pretty scruffy then as I'd not had a bath for years and smelled of 1. diesel and 2. damp. The reason for this was
 1. My fuel tank was leaking because the bodger who fitted a new one didn't fit the sender unit properly. This only came to light when Mike gave me my first full tank and I disgraced myself by spreading it all over the driveway like an incontinent puppy, and
 2. I had a sunroof. Or Rainroof as it's now more accurately known. All Defenders leak. It's designed in. With a hole in the roof they just leak more. It's part of our charm.

 I've had several refits since I first arrived here, and this is how I look from behind for this trip:

Mike had the idea that he'd like to sleep in me and set out the whole interior to be a bedsit complete with space for a double bed, kitchen, boxroom...well, after a few compromises and rethinks, I now have a cooker, fridge, fitted kitchen, sink, water tank, workshop, spare parts store, gas BBQ, enough gadgets to navigate to the moon and that very important double bed.

The fridge and cooker are on heavy-duty drawer runners so they both slide out to the middle of the kitchen and make them really easy for the chef to use.The doors have had a bit of a "tweak" so they open a lot wider than they used to which makes them a bit more friendly to use, and you can see how everything fits in really easily.

No space goes unused, and in the spaces underneath the floor - along the chassis rails -  there are 2 boxes that used to hold Black and Decker drills. These are the perfect size to slot into the space behind the front outriggers, and hold stuff that we don't mind getting wet - engine oil, grease, transmission fluid etc. Gets it out of the way and the smell stays outside. These are vulnerable to damage but if they get a bash or two, it won't matter. The space in the wings has been used to provide storage for spare coolant hoses, a back-up footpump, rope and bungee cord, more engine oil....yawn.

"Up Front" I've had a complete facelift. My original seats were pulled out and some very nice leather numbers put in their place. £50 from the local scrapyard, donor vehicle a Volvo. Heated too. Got more knobs and levers than a 747. Like my maplight? The customs bloke at Tangier last year thought it was a microphone until it was turned on. Used to be a £5 desk light from Ikea. I think perhaps you're getting the trend here...most of my "improvements" have come from dusty corners of the house and garage or the nearest skip. A lot of stuff has come from Proper Places, though. Over the last 2 years I've had a new clutch, springs, shock absorbers, radiator, vacuum pump, brake servo, exhaust system, alternator and a whole raft of other little bits and pieces including tyres and wheels. What could possibly go wrong after all that?

Mike says he wishes I hadn't said that.......

 So, now I'm all packed up and ready to go tomorrow. All the rethinks on what we take, what we don't really need and what has to do at least two jobs has resulted in a lot of empty space. This is a Good Thing but I can't help wondering what important  - nay, vital - item is still on a shelf somewhere and won't be identified until we're too far gone to turn around. Like passports, perhaps.

One more sleep.